Blackseraphine

This man! Just made me chuckle!

And I had been thinking about things while I was out. I thought about what I wanted to say. I said I wanted to explain things but I think the combination of hitting my head and seeing him come in that one time softened me. Now I don't know what to say. It was easier when I was angry. I had a thousand words running in my mind, eager to get out. But now..

I felt like I don't have a right to demand anything. What am I going to say? Ask him to set boundaries? I'm not even sure I want to say anything, because I see his friendships as valuable and I don't want him to lose it. And I thought what if things don't end up well? That I'm not what he expected? Not even close to what he wants, what he needs. Not what people think is good enough for him. Then he's going to need someone, someone who's determined enough to get him, someone people would approve of. 

And then lately the news has got me thinking. It made me want to ask, "Are you afraid of me?" 

And honestly? I would understand why. He should be. I'm afraid for him. 

I'm scared everything will be a disappointment for him. I'm scared how things will turn out.

Then I come home to this. After what I said?

😸 Ha... this man... 

How can I stay away? ☺️