Blackseraphine

I felt empty. After talking about it for days, what did I expect? Relief? I'm not sure. But I didn't expect to feel empty.

As I ended the conversation in tears, I thought, Why is this so complicated? Twenty years ago I would have walked away from something difficult like this because why does a love that makes me so happy could also make me so sad?

Is it supposed to be like this?

And I thought, maybe it's because I didn't have as much relationship experience. I don't know how things should be. Now I'm at a disadvantage. He had all these experiences and I?  What do I have?

I was scrolling Twitter and was about to close it when I came to a post of an interview from a local celebrity. She said "You have to acknowledge it's not always going to be happy. That's what a real relationship is, that's what real commitment is." And the host added, "Will your love still be bigger than whatever differences you have."

I don't want heaven to ever think I'm ungrateful.. I chose to love and I'm grateful for having someone to love. I'm just struggling sometimes...