Blackseraphine

I feel anxious. Again. I'm anxious about a cat who is not even my cat. So I haven't slept. And me and my sister ate through the early morning hours. 😑  

I ended up reading about this girl, a fan of an idol boy group who committed suicide on a livestream. Apparently, she had gone on a fansign, gave a couple of bouquets to a boy group member and asked him to give one of the bouquets to her main bias. The idol didn't hear and started posing with the flowers. The girl got upset and there are conflicting claims of her fidgeting and shouting. 

There are also conflicting claims that the idol, her main bias, went on a livestream and said he didn't like these type of fans who draw attention to themselves. The fans zeroed in on this girl as the person being talked about.

The girl apologized on her account and closed it. But still he comments didn't stop. This apparently happened over the course of four days. 

Then she went on a livestream to explain herself and the negative comments followed her there. There was a rope on the door behind her. She said that she lost her joy. And hanged herself. Somebody on twitter said her stream was on for two hours before people came and turned it off. 

When she apologized, apparently she said she miscalculated how close she thought she was to the members. She supposedly worked as a cabaret hostess even while attending university. And she used that money to fund being a fan, getting front row seats to events, sending gifts to members. She apparently sent 100 white roses to her main bias early this year. Somebody said that back then the other fans thought it was cute and thought she was pretty, then just months later the same fans called her names and said she was too parasocial.

Was she too parasocial? She attended enough events that the idols and even other fans could recognize her.

I honestly don't know. It makes me wonder...