Blackseraphine

 I saw this tweet and...

😮‍💨 This! This is what I should have been doing!!!

I want to be able to say this too!! 

She even put in her blood pressure improvement! That's how serious she is!

But me? I can't sleep on time and have zero control over myself. I can't stick to a schedule, can't maintain exercise, craving salt and sugar and indulging myself all the time..

I gained so much weight instead of losing weight!

Honestly, my only consolation was that I gained some ass back. Really, being fat and having a pancake butt is a tragedy!

I had always held more weight in lower abdomen to my thighs. But when I had a really bad depressive episode in 2016, I gained so much weight that I just exploded everywhere. It was the heaviest and ugliest I ever was. I was a blob. Unfornutely, I had my passport in that era so I had a brutal reminder of how ugly I was. Then I started very slowly losing some of that weight before I plateaued and ended up with a pancake butt. And I didn't even notice it until I realized I could feel it when I sit on a wooden stool. I tried squats last year but it only made a tiny difference. 

But lately I could actually see some difference! Definitely not JLo levels, but definitely not a pancake anymore! 👍 There's actually some cushion in there. But now everywhere else is much fatter so... 🤦‍♀️

I was actually thinking about this on the way back last night. And then I saw that post with the Bruno Mars track and I just laughed—

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DcyS2rKSQsE/?stkn=ZWpxd2U4d2t5ZWhy

I couldn't decide if I should send it or not because it looks kinda pervy but it was funny!