Blackseraphine

I understand now why I thought of stopping my visits. I wanted to steel my heart against what I knew would come. I wanted to avoid it. 

The long drawn-out good bye. 

To see it fade, to hear the silence grow... That was sadder than simply turning my back and walking away. It feels like another loss, but I will have to wait. Watch and wait. 

I used to think so much about you when things got too hard. I thought about you, and thought that I will live, I should live...

And for a while, for a good while, I was so sorry that I even thought of leaving this world.

Because I thought you took my place.