I've been going back and forth about this since Saturday. I still don't know what I did that made him stop coming. And my shitty memory isn't helping. Was it when I said that I noticed that he hasn't been coming as much? But that still doesn't make sense...
What the fuck did I do?
And yesterday I thought it was a fluke. I genuinely thought he'd be too busy to come. But he did come. Two consecutive days? Then again today? I couldn't believe it. It even felt strange. Because it's been so long, so now it felt unusual. I was even thinking about it last week, how dangerous it was for me. I could start to get used it. Start to feel comfortable. And start to forget. I've been so good at isolating myself from people in my life that it wouldn't be unusual for this to happen to me.
How long has it been? Over a month? Almost two months?
So what happened? If he was too upset that he couldn't come see me, what about the times when he did come and stay? That Sunday, that Wednesday noon, that Thursday... Did he miss me?
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