Blackseraphine

 There's something wrong this week... I've been noticing it and I don't know what's going on with him.

😮‍💨 Sometimes when it's like this I feel like I want to just call him and say "Yah! What's going on!"

When I was watching him cry, I felt like I was Sailormoon. Tagapangalaga. 😊 Guardian. Tagapangalaga ng malambot nyang puso. Okay lang. Between the two of us, let him have the soft heart. Mine is calloused I think and I tried to temper it that way; I like it that way. Having a soft heart means he gets affected quickly and openly. But then this means it's easy to see how happy he is too which I love.

I wasn't sure if I should mention him crying because he might feel self-conscious. I just want to hold him... 

This is why I tried to keep it to myself that I was having a hard time this week. But maybe I didn't do a good job. This thing that's coming up- it doesn't happen often. I just wanted him to have a great time this weekend. I didn't want to infect him. Sadness is contagious. 

I didn't like that I was like that. My mind was feeding me negative thoughts about myself, that it won't work out... and I hated it! I hate that it made me feel distant from him. I didn't want to! I didn't want to think that it was impossible.

I had wanted to bring my mood up. So I can feel closer to him again. 

Now he's mad at me again I think... 😮‍💨